Merry Christmas and Politics

What a blessed time of year.
So much to do, so many people to visit and see . . .
What an opportunity to acknowledge the gifts and grace in our lives.

I've been pouting lately,
yes, I'll admit it.
It's difficult to purchase gifts and wrap with joy,
attend holiday gatherings where so much excess and bounty exists,
and still remember that one you love is so far removed from this splendor and doing without.

Does Dimitry get dinner on Christmas Day? Is there enough?
Does he know that there is a family pining for his company, 
wishing more than anything for him to be present at their table?

We've been buying toys
(little brown baby dolls and Barbie dolls, Matchbox cars, Tonka toys)
with hopes of delivering them to the children in Fondwa's orphanage this season,
but it isn't going to be.

Do they know they are loved?
Do they know they matter?
Do they feel wanted and important and special?

Now, politics will keep more children who are institutionalized from knowing the love of a forever family.
Russian children in orphanages,
some 740,000 per UNICEF's estimation,
will remain where they are.
Once again, our world's children become the victims.
Sickening.
At least 52 children, headed for homes in the US, now will remain where they are.
Waiting for political asylum,
not because of natural disaster, illness or transportation concerns,
but because some men in suits think the least of these make for good pawns in their game of Stratego.

What are we doing??

Some times I wonder if God has a hard time keeping His promise not to just wipe us out.
He has got to be frustrated and heart broken and sad.

There is so much good that could be done.
There are so many resources that can help and improve and enhance the quality of lives.
There are so many people who need to be loved and assisted and taught . . .

Why can't we do more to improve, rather than harm?

Alright,
I'll step down off my soap box now.
Sorry.

On a happier note,
I have decided that 2013 is the year we will bring Dimitry home.
YEA
No, I don't know anything, but I have decided.
(You didn't know I had so much control, did you?)
Lol

Merry Christmas, y'all.
Blessings to you and yours
and especially, to those without.

A borrowed "Christmas Tradition"

Once again, here I go posting someone else's stuff,
but it's soooooo good.

It's not often that I read something that truly describes what I've been experiencing, but this nails it on the head.

http://theramblingjunkie.com/2012/12/10/an-unfortunate-christmas-tradition/

The pervasive emptiness,
sadness,
lack of something someone from my daily life.

It's the most wonderful time of the year
but I'm missing a part of my heart.

I love the lights and the music and the general feel of things,
but I also break down crying every time someone mentions "hungry children" in prayer
or a tender carol reminds me of my son that I so desperately want to share this with.

I have not lost my faith.
Far from it.
It is a little harder to pray sometimes though.

There is a pit in my stomach . . .

I need this to be the last Christmas without my child in my home and in my arms.
I need this to be the final birthday he has without a family to celebrate him.

I asked my God to break my heart with what breaks His
and He has.

Wanna Shop Like You Mean It?

 Black Friday

 

 

I do not do black Friday shopping but, I will endorse a few sites that I think you should consider for your holiday shopping.

 

Wanna make a difference?

You are going to spend the money anyway :)

 

Check out some merchants that change lives:

 

HaitianCreations.com

 

The Adopt Shoppe on Etsy.com

 

The Haiti Orphan Project has Singing Rooster Coffee in their online store

 

 

 

Outreach-international.org

 

ApParentProject.org

 

 

Come on, get your gift on!

 



Thanksgiving Again

Thanksgiving 2012 . . .

So much different than the holiday Eric and I spent last year.



November 2011 was the last time we saw Sister Carmelle before she became very ill. It was the last time we saw our Alby and were privileged to spend quality time with him. Over Thanksgiving was when Dimitry and Eric really bonded.

Crazy how much can happen in one fast-flying year.

Last year, a large tom turkey taunted us in Fondwa, strutting around and vocally reminding us that he would not be on anyone's platter that year.

How fortunate we were to be surrounded by the Sisters and friends of Fondwa, Haiti.

I started out cheerful, thankful and ready to spend the day with my family this Thanksgiving. But as we neared my sister's house, we discussed where we were one year ago, and my heart began to ache.

All this excess.

Do our boys even have dinner today?

Someone said to me recently "It's so great what you are doing."

I am not a noble person, or even an unselfish one.

I am torn between shopping for my children at home, who have more stuff than they can keep track of, and wanting to leave it all and go rebuild a chapel for my friends in Haiti.
I'm not sure if Dimmy had more than bread for dinner, but my table has more dessert choices than he can imagine.
I am fattened with Halloween candy and Girl Scout Cookies, and now pumpkin pie and a second helping of stuffing . . .
I do not think that God means for us to feel guilty for the blessings in our lives, but it is so difficult not to be aware of the excesses and the waste when one's heart is with those who need.

How overwhelming will this all be when Dimitry comes home?

Tonight we put up our Christmas tree and decorated the house.
It brought tears to my eyes when I pulled out the stockings and the ornaments I bought for Dimitry and Alby last year, in hopes they would be part of this year's Thanksgiving.

What will he think when he sees this? The lights, the food, the music, the presents.

So much.
Too much.

Sunday ponderings

#1:  Only a child in a "first world" country would complain about a Thanksgiving themed church potluck. Seriously?? What's not to like about turkey cooked 3 different ways, 30 different salads and sides to choose from, and a dessert table covered with deliciousness?

Craziness

 

#2:  Taking your daughter for a pedicure, even when she is only 5 years old, is totally worth it. There is nothing like watching her little face as she relaxes into the nice lady's hands rubbing lotion on her hairy little legs and then being told "That was so much fun. I love girl time with you mama."

Oh, be still my heart.

 

 

#3:  Reading that another family had their I-600 denied for 3 children in Haiti after receiving the adoption decree and just wanting to bring the babies home is nothing short of pure heartbreak. I can't even type it without tearing up. What a journey . . . an absolutely unbelievable journey.

In the spirit of holiday shopping

 

Outreach International

 

 

Ever bought a goat as a Christmas present?
 

Ever gone in with friends and family to fund a fresh water source?
 

Every considered buying strangers shoes or school supplies or a pig for the holidays?

Why Not?

Genetics

Isn't genetics fascinating?

What do we pass on to our children? And what is passed on to us in our genes?

Blond hair: yes.
Blue eyes: sure.
Propensity for heart disease or breast cancer or diabetes? Undoubtedly.

What about our character traits?
There is a definite pattern of Asperger syndrome behavior in the males of one family I know and love. While only one individual has been given the definitive diagnosis, at least two generations of males display the behaviors and definitely exhibit the character traits of Aspergers.

My oldest child, I'm afraid, has inherited more than I intended him to from me.

I am a child of a Type A parent.
No, really.
He's not just "kind of" type A . . . he's the real deal.
And me? Yeah, I've got some of that too.
I have a teensy, eensy touch of perfectionistic behavior
(is that my mother's laughter that I hear?)
and I tend to be strung a bit tighter than some individuals.
Anxiety? yep
Depression? yep (there is a family history of that too)

In fact, I suffered from post-partum depression with my oldest,
and while I was determined to breastfeed him throughout his first year
(putting off antidepressant therapy),
I wonder if that contributed to his personality now.
Is it possible to pass on stress hormones caused by anxiety through human milk?

My son is a huge worrier.
He can be intense and is sensitive compared to his younger sibling.
I have a photo of him at age two where he had organized a tub of crayons into color . . .
into one very long, very straight line on the floor.
Yes, we raised our eyebrows and asked if a 2 year old could be OCD.
He is a firm believer that there is usually only one correct way to do things
(which I constantly refute);
He gets very frustrated by his own mistakes and shortcomings;
He is definitely his own worst critic.
And it breaks this mama's heart.

Did I do this to him?
Is it in our genetic code?
Is it just a coincidence? (yeah, right)

How do I teach my child to be young, imaginative, creative and free?
How do I convince him that pretend play is normal and healthy?
(He thinks his sister's ability to play school and have tea parties with her dolls is weird)
He had a toy kitchen and a Cabbage Patch Doll when he was younger.
(okay, he still has the doll)
Finger paint? No way
Pizza with hands rather than a fork? Working on it
Messy cookies or snacks or projects? Very stressful for him
Do not expect my child to eat Doritos unless you plan on him doing it with some sort of utensil.

He clings, yet also struggles with independence as he nears 8 years old.
He is so sensitive and unselfish, in a way that is far beyond his age.
He is intuitive,
so much so that it surprises me sometimes.
Nothing gets past this kid!
I question if he could be considered gifted . . .
like his grandfather.

I pray for him.
I cannot wait to take him to meet his brother far from here because I know he will get it.
I just hope that it is not too much for him, at the same time.

Thank you God for the gift of this child who obviously needs us as much as we love and want him.
Please bless his little heart, and use his sensitive nature to serve you without overwhelming himself.

I miss my son.

I hope he knows that, somehow.

I miss his smile and his big brown eyes.

I wonder if he's grown.

I wonder if he thinks we may not return for him.

I wish this system was less broken.

I miss my son.

I feel as though I haven't got much to say.

I'm reading the blogs and the facebook posts and the ongoing thread of concerns, questions and fears regarding Haitian adoption and the current state of political affairs and I'm in a place where I occasionally shake my head and leave it at that.

There is nothing to do but wait.

Our file was submitted to IBESR on September 15th and we need presidential dispensation . . .
so, we'll wait.

I did email the attorney last week,
just for a check on progress:
"Are you able to give us an update?"

Short answer: "I'll contact you when there is news."

Okay.

So I'll wait.
And in 29 more days, I'll email again,
lest he forget we exist or our file go unclaimed in the process.

What else can we do really??

Pray that this is the last Christmas and the last time a birthday passes without a family to call his own.

Man, we cannot wait to bring that boy home!

Loneliness = Poverty

I read something else that touches my heart and draws me to the author because it truly describes the longing and the searching and the yearning of orphans. Each time we travel to Haiti, we are met with hugs, little hands touching our hair, our faces, our hands and any exposed skin. The basic need to be touched, held, acknowledged and loved on is universal and clearly unmet. If you have a moment, read this please:

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/10/the-lack-of-family-is-greatest-form-of.html

Too good not to share

You know how some times you read / hear something that really speaks to you personally?
I had one of those Wow  moments reading this post, and I just had to share . . .

For those of you who may not know, Heather Elyse is a woman on an incredible journey.
God clearly has a plan for this mama and she is touching lives and making a difference each and every day.

Here is what she wrote:

As I was basking before the Lord this morning, watching my children sleep peacefully... I thought to myself... Lord I am so unworthy to be caring for your children. Thank you for living in me and allowing me to be YOU to these children.

Can you imagine what God sees on a daily basis? All the young girls being sold into slavery, the children who are murdered in their mother's womb. The children who die daily due to starvation. The children who will die today because they were abandoned and no one found them. Can you imagine the tears God must of cried when he saw the orphan Jewish children being murdered in the concentration camps? I wonder what God's heart feels for the starving orphans in Syria and all over the world who many of us can't even get too, due to massacres and war. Can you imagine what the heart of God must be like...he knows all his children's stories.

May we all touch the heart of GOD today...and awaken ourselves for what HIS heart feels for his children. May we be so intimate with Jesus that we feel his heart beat for them... may our hearts be burdened to pray for the ones who are without a family today.

Dear God, I specifically pray for all the million's of orphans out there in this world. May we feel your heart beating for them. May we catch your tears and cry with you for your hurting abandoned children. May we be the father to the fatherless. Let our hearts break for the things that break your heart. Take our hearts that are burdened deeply for the vulnerable and pour us out. May our hearts be so burdened that we are moved to action. May we rise up and defend the unwanted, the ones who are weak, the ones who have no voice. May we lay down our lives for the least of these. Wrap your blanket of grace around the cold forgotten children of this world. May your spirit fill the bellies of those children who are without food. May your arms embrace those who are without a family today. Catch your children's tears. Heal their bodies. They may not even know who you are Oh God, but meet them where they are at. Breathe life into their very being. Holy Spirit sweep in like a cool breeze and reassure their hearts. May the body of Christ be awakened to hear your heart for these children who you have numbered. May we be moved to action.

Gets me all choked up.
Thank you Heather.

Satur - Day Trip

Joined with some awesome folks on this chilly autumn morning to raise awareness and help build schools in Haiti.

 

It is always super cool to meet new people who also have a heart for Haiti and all the work that still can be done to help out in that little country not so far away from home. The eight hour round-trip journey was well worth the super swag and goodies we brought home, including (drum roll, please):

 



Um, YUM.

 

I may even warm up some canned condensed milk for this

(you know what I'm talkin' about, don't you?)

 

Check out this organization based out of Kirkwood, Missouri to donate, volunteer, network.

 

Good stuff . . .

Good, good stuff.

 

 

 

September 22 Fun

Gratuitous fun family photo from our church retreat this past weekend:

 

Yeah, that's how we Edmunds roll.



 

Wild Olive does it again

Y'all know those cool t-shirts I wear from Wild Olive Tees? They've got some new designs that are "awesome-sauce" and I'm sure you will love. Check them out here: http://store.wildolivetees.com. Here is one of  the newest and coolest for your viewing pleasure

On to the next stage of this waiting game

For the purpose of putting our wait into perspective, I want to share with you some information that another blogging adoptive mom has graciously shared with other blogging adoptive waiting moms (thank you Christina Boyce):

IBESR Approval and Dispensation (where we are now)

What Happens: Case is assigned a number and reviewed by social worker, lawyer and other government personnel specializing in certain areas. Questions must be resolved before moving to the next person. IBESR submits the file to the Ministry of Justice (MOJ) and the MOJ gives it to the President for approval. Once approved by President Martelly, notice of approval is published in a government newspaper (Le Moniteur). MOJ gives the file back to IBESR for final approval by the IBESR director.

Estimated Timing: 2-18 months

First Required trip to Haiti/Parquet/I-600 filing

What Happens: Prospective parents appear and sign papers at the local court (where relinquishment occurred) and the Civil Court "Parquet" in Port-au-Prince. File I-600 and Adjudicate Orphan Status First paperwork at the U.S. Department of Homeland Security Office in Port-au-Prince. Prospective parents visit with their child(ren) and their child(ren)'s caregivers and spend quality time in their environment.

Estimated Timing: 2-4 weeks after IBESR approval/Dispensation

Civil Court/Parquet

What Happens: Civil Court "Parquet" reviews the file and IBESR's recommendation and issues a judgment of adoption. The judgment is typed up by an office within the Civil Court and then hand-written/officially recorded in a Court Book. Transcription of the judgment is then done by Birth Certificate Officer to add adoptive parent's last name to the child's name.

Estimated Timing: 4-6 months

National Archives (NA) and Ministry of Justice (MOJ)

What Happens: The case is attested at the NA, a higher office than the Civil Court/Parquet. MOJ is the highest office. Once the MOJ has reviewed everything to insure it is complete and correct, they issue their stamp of approval.

Estimated Timing: 2-4 months

Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MOFA)

What Happens: Upon completion of NA/MOJ, cases go back to MOFA again before review and approval before going to the Ministry of Interior.

Estimated Timing: 4-6 weeks

Ministry of Interior (MOI)

What Happens: The MOI reviews the file and if approved, the Director of the MOI signs off. A child's passport cannot be issued until this signature is received.

Estimated Timing: 2-5 months

Passport Office
What Happens: Application for child's passport.
Estimated Timing: 2 weeks-3 months

Department of Homeland Security (DHS)

What Happens: DHS interviews child's birth parent(s) or other family members. DHS may require clarification about a document or have questions. After DHS approval, the U.S. Consulate must review and grant approval. They sometimes request additional documentation.

Estimated Timing: 2 weeks-2 months

Child's Visa Medical Exam
Estimated Timing: 1-2 weeks

U.S. Consulate

What Happens: Consulate reviews the file and lets the creche/orphanage know if any questions or action is needed before they will issue the visa.

Estimated Timing: 2 weeks-2months

Family's Second Required Trip to Haiti

What Happens: Prospective parents appear at IBESR with the child and show the child's visa. IBESR provides a "travel authorization document" that will be required prior to departure. Spend a few days visiting and bonding with the child. Come home!

Estimated Timing: Any time after the child's visa is approved

And there you have it! This is what we know and what we've been led to believe we can expect. The timeline may vary some (it is Haiti), but we've also been told these files are going to be "expedited," so we can only hope and pray.

Read This Friends!

It was a quiet weekend.
I decided that today would be the day we move forward. My plan was to contact the attorney and determine the best route for our paperwork to be turned over to Heather.
Once again, my plans are not His plans.

First, I received a message that another IBESR extension was announced.
Two more weeks to submit.

Funny how doors keep opening when it seems that we've hit a brick wall.

I sprung into action.
Would he turn over our file willingly? Not likely.
I was told that many attornies are literally fighting to hold onto dossiers, rather than relinquish them to agencies per families requests, because dossiers = income.
I believe he would fight also.

I contacted my husband.
I got online and found a flight.
I called the Sisters and arranged for airport pick up and transportation to the attorney's office.
I called my father-in-law and told him I needed help - my parents are out of town and Eric has games to coach and the kids will need to be picked up after school . . .
and I tried calling the attorney,
over and over and over and over again.
Finally, he answered
and in his non-chalant tone stated that Oh, I forgot to email you - you were submitted.
Excuse me? Come again.

Blah, Blah, Blah . . .

I had so much more written, but there was an internet mishap and it was lost.
More importantly, it isn't relevant or important because

WE ARE IN.

5 digit number confirms that our son has a file number in IBESR and all that really needs to be said is this:

I can't even breathe! So very blessed.

Where do we go from here?

Thank you friends for your prayers and support.

The question is this: if not submitted into IBESR, where do we go from here?

We will need to collect our files from the attorney and get them to an agency. They are willing to work with us and are eager to help us move forward . . .
but, what laws will apply to us? What will our timeline be? What costs will be repeated / applied?

How much longer will our son be without a family?

I cannot answer these questions, but truly appreciate your love and concern for us. When I know more, be sure that I will share.

In the meantime, Hallelujah for all the families who received receipt into IBESR at long last.
God is good and knows His plan for us. Our job is to be open to His will and follow.

Weekly Rant

I've felt peaceful this week, despite the looming deadline for our attorney to submit paperwork to IBESR prior to the Hague Convention regulations being put into place.

I spoke with Ashley and Shasta and feel absolutely certain that with them is where we will move forward. They have Haiti's orphans in their hearts and understand our heartache, and that of other families in similar situations, who wait and long for their faraway children.

That nice feeling has changed though.

(CODE: Be forewarned. Read at your own risk. Angry adoptive mama about to write.)

Today, the attorney emailed.

I have very little to say because I am so angry that I have literally been gritting my teeth for the past three hours.  I was fortunate to have a short day at work . . . although that allows me to come home and fume about his words and lack of all caring or motivation regarding our case or adoptions in his country at all.

jackass

With tears in my eyes, I sip a glass of Riesling at 1:45 in the afternoon . . .
ears burning and blood pressure pumping . . .
So, I returned his email.
No more nicety nice -
do not worry friends, I kept my respectful balance and tone -
however, I let him have it.

Why has our dossier been in your office for 11 months with no urgency until we informed you of this impending deadline?

Why haven't you been more proactive and diligent in pursuing this adoption when you were handsomely paid to do so?

Why has our child lost another year of life living without a family who loves him?

People have written that foreign adoptees are too cordial and polite to these individuals paid to represent them and their child's interests at the highest courts. Why do we continue to politely ask for updates instead of demanding the information we should be getting on a regular basis from the one responsible for advocating on our behalf? It is so difficult to be assertive without fearing coming across as disrespectful or harsh, yet we witness their behavior that is less than ideal, and say nothing. We wait so long with our hands tied. We pray and cry and keep paying for extensions and updates and supportive measures. When is it okay to ask for answers?

When you are about to change roads, that's when.

We probably won't be submitted on time, and ya know what?
That's okay.
Not that Dimitry will be institutionalized longer, but that his file and our adoption will finally be in the hands of people who truly care about him getting a family forever.

To those of you who may not be submitted either, it's okay.
God's hand is surely still in this,
and maybe,
it'll be even better this way.

In the meantime,
look at this -
https://www.facebook.com/#!/media/set/?set=a.464912393539248.113982.291700304193792&type=1

Holy mackerel!
Brings tears to my eyes again :)

One week left

Five work days in this week ahead.
Five business days to submit paperwork . . . or, at least, that's how I assume it works there just like it does here.
Then again . . .
someone raised an interesting point this past week:
Are we SURE this whole September 15th submission date is legitimate?
Hmmmm.
Nice to think it could be rumor, but better to act on it as fact.

I fluctuate between heart ache and fear over losing more time to be a family with Dimitry, but I also have to admit that there is a positive side to this --

If we move our file to an agency, we will actually be working with someone who cares about orphans in Haiti. Wow, that will be refreshing.
We also might be eligible for grants to assist us in this costly process.
That would be totally cool.

How many more trips?
How many more months, or worse yet, years??
How many more hurricane seasons and natural disasters and birthdays and Christmases?

So many unknowns.
So much to worry about.
So much to let go of and let God handle.

Whew. It's hard to be strong this long.

It's even harder to be an orphan.


 

11 days remain.

Yesterday was a promising day: several emails teasing us with progress and dossier submission on the horizon.

Today was silent.

Holy roller coaster

 

UP    and                UP   and                  UP    and  

                        down,                     down,                       down . . .

 

 

Ugh.

Get a load of this!

So, this is kinda funny.

Not ha ha ha, but more like are you freaking kidding me?!

18 days to submit paperwork . . .
and I sent a couple more emails last night.
I contacted Father Joe with a plea to intervene and talk with Mr. Law face-to-face on our behalf.

I also emailed The Man. This time, we offered a "financial incentive" for Mr. Law to get off his tail and act. The response I received describes his efforts on our behalf, while the nuns are apparently trying to sabotage this adoption.

WOW

My GI system was not acting quite right this morning,
before the aforementioned communication,
but it's difficult to describe the state it's in now.

This man must be very confident in his position to say such things.

Oh, and there is surely a special place in hell for individuals who have such generous resources and means in a country plagued by corruption and destitution, but display the level of apathy and indolence as this.

To state that all of his efforts have been for our case, when so many months have passed with my begging for his intervention and assistance, is more than absurd.

There have been no secrets or underestimation on my part about the lack of resources in Fondwa available to the Sisters, yet he now has the audacity to blame them for our lack of progression and goes as far to say that it may be intentional.

Yes, I've heard that devastating poverty and kind hearts will make people vindictive and malicious.

WTH?

Oh my word, Mister.
I'm glad you don't answer to me ultimately. I'm sure I could never give you what you rightly deserve.

Along this journey, many obstacles have entered our path, but if the enemy thinks we will give up and crawl away with our sad tails between our legs, he is going to be greatly disappointed.
We are supported and loved and faithful.

There are too many children waiting for families . . .

I may not be the strongest or the toughest or the most patient of waiting mothers,
but I'm not going anywhere.

(and I could probably get in trouble for all of this)

Dimitry is our son.
Someday, this journey will be a memory, but the outcome will be such a wondrous blessing.

20 days to submit.

Watching Isaac.
Praying the forecast is wrong and it won't hit Haiti with hurricane force winds.

21 days to submit . . .
and the finger pointing has begun.

"I have done my part, but (this person) . . ."

Yeah, tell to someone who cares.

Just get it done.

tick tock, tick tock . . .

23 days left to submit paperwork.

I'm not anxious or anything.

I'm not tapping my foot
or spasming each time a new email comes across my phone.
No, I'm not dying to send another email asking my attorney
Are you there yet?!

Yesterday, we may have received our miracle.
Sister has a death certificate.
Yeah, that's right! We got it. We got it!

That means we only need the hand off to occur from the Sisters to Mr. Attorney
and he needs to feel the fire lit under his behind to submit the dossier.

23 days . . .
and if it happens
(as it should),
Dimitry will get a forever family.

Otherwise?
The Hague requirements go into effect in October
and it could be another two years.

No, that is not a misprint.

Dear God,
I know you hear me.
I know you love your children.
I know your hand is in this . . .
and we are in the palm of your hand.
Please bless this process
and the people driving the process
and the paperwork
and the families who love these children and need you to bring them home.

Thank you for this desire in my heart.
Thank you for the resources and the support you have blessed us with.
Thank you. Thank you.

A Plea for Prayer Warriors

 For anyone who has bitten their fingernails down into the quick and cried themselves to sleep over adoption stress, you'll understand the urgency of this post.

On August 16th, Haiti's IBESR reopened for adoption dossiers
for 30 days only.
Attorneys and agencies have a window of 1 month's time to submit dossiers before IBESR will, once again, close and then reopen at the end of October under the Hague Convention rules & regulations.
That's the plan, anyway.

In a nut shell, for us that means the loss of a lot of money and starting the process near the beginning with an agency.
It may also mean the loss of Dimitry . . . that remains to be seen.

Our paperwork has been sitting in Port-au-Prince since October 21, 2011 where it has gathered dust, waiting for one, single piece of paper.
Despite obtaining legal parental relinquishment from Dimmy's father, we have had no proof of maternal status . . . which, is apparently the end all in Haiti.

I have prayed.
I have pouted.
I have recently been grieving and feeling helpless, soaking in self-pity at the loss of this child's potential future.

You see, if we are unable to obtain a death certificate for this child's mother, he will be labeled unadoptable.

So
very
wrong.

I am asking
no,
I am pleading
for your prayers.

Not only for our family and my child in an orphanage in Haiti,
but for ALL the orphans in Haiti.
So many families' hopes and dreams are tied into this time frame.
So many what ifs exist right now.

Please join our family in the inundation of prayers for Haiti's orphans.
There really is only One Being who has control over the fate of these children,
and while HIS plan is unknown to us,
I cannot believe that He wishes for his children to live a life that continues the cycle of poverty.

Starting today, the self-pity and depression stops.
No more tears and sadness,
napping and knoshing.
Off the couch and off my butt.
I will take care of myself and get serious about caring for the body God has given me,
while praying intently for the bodies and souls of His children in Haiti.

I may not have the power to push paperwork through in a foreign country . . .
I may not have the ability to feed thousands
or provide life-sustaining care to children who have little,
but I can pray
and I can fast
and I can be an example of God's love on this earth
while supporting organizations and charities that do have the power to make a difference.

On October 6th, Eric and I will participate in the 2nd annual
Hope for Haiti 5K in Kirkwood, Missouri.
100% of the registration fees and donations from this event go towards The Haiti Orphan Project's building of a school in Village de Vie, Haiti.

http://haitiorphanproject.org/engage/events/annual-hope-5k/

People, working together, can make a difference.
People, praying for a miracle, can make a difference.

Please, please join us in this endeavor.
Prayer can change lives . . . I believe this
and I'm asking for your help.

We need a miracle.
My son needs a miracle.

New Start

While I've been wallowing in self-pity over our adoption,

my babies have been busy growing up.

Today was the first day of a new school year,

and for my five year old,

a whole new adventure.

It was like Christmas morning around here today.

6AM and the singing, dancing and excitement began.

The second grader thought his little sister was

Crazy.

My husband suggested we should've recorded it,

to remind her, many years from now,

how very, very excited she was

to go to school.

She literally skipped to the bus stop.

Let's hope the joy lasts.

Now, this mama is going grocery shopping . . .

Alone.

(hee hee)