He has been with Eric and I, 24 / 7 for nearly two weeks.
There have been surprises,
both good and not so great.
We have been pleased with the attachment between child and parents,
although, after many trips to Haiti over the past years, we were not strangers.
Even still, there are a lot of adjustments that need to be made.
Imagine being 8 years old,
coming from a place where nothing you have really ever belongs to only you;
where meals are consistent, in that beans and rice, bread with peanut butter, and occasionally chicken is served;
where diarrhea and open sores on your body are simply typical;
where older children are "in charge" of you;
a place where there are no mommies and daddies to tuck you in and say goodnight.
Imagine being 8 years old,
never knowing what it means to be part of a family --
having rules and limitations, being expected to share and mind when instructions are given;
being picked up and held when you get hurt;
taking a warm bath with bubbles and toys and someone to wash your hair;
wearing clean clothes, every single day
and always having more than enough to eat.
A few battles were not expected,
like wearing a seat belt on the airplane,
but we assume the majority of issues that arise are related to stress and sometimes, lack of understanding.
There has been some fear -
being told to go on a car ride (to take the brother and sister to school), the day after arriving at home.
How did he know that was where we were really going?
We've heard from others that their children who came from difficult places can have a really tough time adjusting to life in a family. No matter their age, some have a hard time accepting authority, trusting in new relationships, living with siblings, adjusting to a new culture and lifestyle.
Some are abusive to parents, siblings and / or peers.
Some abuse themselves.
We are blessed to have a genuinely sweet boy,
who wants to be held and accepts affection.
From the first day home, he has been loving and gentle with our big, old chocolate labradors.
He is empathetic when a sibling gets hurt.
He is compassionate and funny and sweet.
But there is frustration,
and there have been just a few tantrums.
He does not like being told it is time to go inside after playing for hours on his bicycle.
He does not like being told that his bike is his, but his siblings' bicycles belong to them.
He does not want to hear that he cannot watch any TV show or movie he wishes
(he is particularly interested in anything depicting fighting, battles or what I consider to be violence.)
Being told that those shows are not appropriate for children and will not be watched in our home did not go over well.
He is essentially, a very typical 8 year old boy.
He is messy and smelly and gross (the boy can belch -- makes his older brother jealous with his skills).
He is beautiful and gentle and wonderful.
It is not all unicorns and rainbows, but it's life,
and isn't that what life is? Messy?
Messy and wonderful and challenging and completely awesome.
We have a lot of growing to do.
There is a lot of grace to be given.
There is trust to earn.
And we have a lifetime to grow together.
