Mama Is About To Lose It

I've had many people say things like
"how do you hold it together"
through this very long adoption process?

Wanna know?
Sometimes I don't.

Like tonight, for instance.

Why do I torture myself reading the posts on the Adopting from Haiti Facebook page?

(Because I love some of these families as if we've actually met;

We've walked this long road together and shared the same burdens,

and I love sharing in their joys.)

When I read posts about the stage we are in now though,

it's too much for me sometimes.

"How long did it take to receive your child's passport?"

7 days

9 days

10 days

2 weeks and 1 day

3 weeks, exactly

What, exactly, do these agencies do differently that my very well paid attorney is not doing?

We weren't notified until 6 weeks in passport processing that our son's photos were missing,

and now,

5 weeks later,

(yes, that's 11 weeks waiting so far)

we still know nothing.

When does our son catch a break??

When will it be his turn?

When can I stop praying for our file and our process and our attorney?

It's incredibly intimidating dealing with foreign attorneys in such a fragile process.

If I'm assertive, I risk alienating the one individual with access to my son's legal documents and who holds the thousands of dollars worth of paperwork that will eventually get him out of Haiti.

I hate this game.

I hate the uncertainty and lack of communication and lack of a liaison with whom to discuss these issues.

I hate the wait

and the years of loneliness and yearning that my child has had to bear.

I hate the complete and utter lack of control over my child's immediate future.

I made our attorney angry in September of 2012 when I asked for proof of Dimitry's file submission to IBESR . . . 

I'm afraid it may be time to risk it again.

This mama needs answers and I'm not willing to accept 

"These things generally take time" any more.

I want to know when we can expect to have his passport.

I want to be done with this stage and into USCIS.

I want my son home this year.

Thank you, Friends.

** Your generosity and support of our adoption

has made our Bonfirefunds tee shirt fundraiser

a success **

This road has been long and not without challenges,

but words cannot express our most sincere gratitude

for the people who have walked this road with us.

Our family feels loved!

An Opportunity to Share

This week, I had the opportunity to share some of our adoption story with Kelly Ellison, Adoption Coach Extraordinaire, and her listeners on Voice America Radio.

(I shudder to think what I will sound like.)

 

(yes, I swiped this off google.com)

Occasionally, I still get asked if my mother is home when I answer the phone, so who knows which Chipmunk I will sound like on the radio.

(Stop laughing)

We had the fortunate experience of meeting Kelly through Adoption & Beyond when we attended our international adoption conference. As an adoptive parent (of a gorgeous little girl named Mia), Kelly knows, first hand, the idiosyncrasies and red tape that make up the adoption process.

She has made it her purpose to assist and direct other adoptive families through the challenging and intimidating task of fundraising to bring a family together. With her help, we held a very successful dinner and silent auction early in our adoption journey.

(Funny now how long ago that was, and how naive we were then.)

 

She graciously led us through the logistics of planning and carrying out a fundraiser that would attract our supporters and get them involved in our family's adventure, that is adoption.

Kelly has continued to be a friend and a confidant throughout this long process.

 

It was a bit intimidating to think about my voice and my story being broadcast over the air waves . . . but the conversation went smoothly, and the time flew by.

 

If you are considering adoption, please hear this: 

surround yourself with people who support your cause.

 

I cannot imagine for one moment, having family and friends who do not accept our decision to adopt and look forward to seeing our family completed.

 

There may be siblings and parents and friends who think adoption is crazy and too expensive and too uncertain --

they are entitled to their opinions.

 

What is crucial in the adoption process, is being sure of the decision yourself.

 

Are there children in need of families?

 

Woah Baby, you betcha.

 

Are you meant to be one of those families?

Only you know that, for sure.

 

Do your homework.

Talk to other adoptive families.

Join social networking sites that discuss the issues and the process and the concerns you may face.

Find others like yourself.

Do the research.

Ask LOTS of questions.

Pray about it.

 

The road is long and can be hard -

for some, more than others,

but hear this:

It is worth it.

 

It is disheartening to think about the years my son has lost in an orphanage.

Does he know any better? No

But you and I both know that institutional living is not the nurturing environment of a family,

no matter how good the orphanage and staff are.

 

I pray that these years have still left his heart soft enough to absorb all the love and support we will give him.

I pray that the scars his soul will carry won't keep him from reaching his potential.

I pray that our family will fill his cup and allow him to be vulnerable for the first time in his young life.

 

Has it been expensive?

(Do you hear that laughing or is it just in my head??)

Oh yeah, it's expensive.

 

Has it really taken that long?

We met our son when he was 4 years old . . . he turns 8 in January.

That's too long.

 

Would I do it again?

You betcha, because I know the love I have for him and the blessings I have received in my life that can be shared.

 

Please listen in to Kelly's show if you are interested.

She has a lot of wisdom and a lot of great resources and contacts to share.

The podcast will air on Saturday, November 9th 12:00 pm PST / 2:00 pm CST / 3:00 pm EST

 

The link below will take you to the podcast.

Go there. See for yourself. 

 

 

http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2100/your-adoption-coach?utm_source=Your+Adoption+Coach+Radio+-Bringing+Dimtry+Home+-+Haitian+Adoption+Story&utm_campaign=Constant+Contact&utm_medium=email

 

 

 

 

 





I'm off work, recuperating from a torn acetabular labral repair,
hobbling around on crutches and going to physical therapy . . .
for FOUR WEEKS . . .
without my son home yet, and

I'm sulking.

I've never been good at sitting around.
Heck, I don't even watch movies at home without multi-tasking.

This is hard.

It's not the discomfort or the inconvenience of healing that's bothering me.
I can't stand spending time laying around when it's not time spent with my adopted son.

We are still awaiting his passport -
something that I do not understand, at all.

He's waiting for us to come for him.
He doesn't understand what's taking so long.


Then again, neither do we.

Families are waiting for I600 approval from the US Citizenship and Immigration Department . . .
we should be getting approval too,
but until there is a passport,
the application won't be considered complete to be processed.

I am a faithful person:
I believe that God wants His children to be loved.
I believe that God has a plan for Dimitry and for our family, but I'd be lying if I said I understand what His plan is.

I do not understand this wait.

To become more educated?
To let the yearning create a stronger bond for attachment?

What??

God, I know You love this child.
I believe that You brought us to him, and him to us.
I believe that each event up until this point has served a purpose,
but I plead with You to release this child's chains -
deliver his paperwork to those who are able to approve it quickly.
Bring this baby home to a mama and daddy and brother and sister who want him so much.
Answer his prayer for a forever home and let us love him all the rest of his days.

Please continue to guide us and move this adoption along.
Send us a buyer for our house Lord, 
and help us to meet these man-made deadlines that lead us forward.

Please protect Dimitry's heart.
Thank you for Sister Claudette and Sister Simone 
and all the ladies who care for these children,
waiting to be loved, 
longing to be wanted, 
yearning to feel more.
Bring us to him swiftly, Lord.

November

November . . .

I thought we'd be booking travel by now.
I thought we'd have a date on the calendar to bring our son home on his very first airplane trip.

The good news is this: I did receive an email this morning from our attorney in Haiti,
and he wants to know what paperwork can be delivered to the embassy on our behalf.

Are you kidding?

Take it all. Too much is better than not enough, right?

In reality, they only need originals of birth certificates, death certificates, relinquishment documentation, the adoption decree and supporting court paperwork. They've had copies for months, waiting for the originals, decree and passport to complete our file.

I still do not know what has delayed our passport so much (other than the lost passport photos).

It's been 9 weeks since submission, and other families report receiving theirs in 7-10 days,

but whatever the reason,

we wait.

I am so hopeful that the end is coming soon.

Our son deserves a family who loves him and wants him and has waited for him, 

almost as long as he has waited for us,

for the holidays.

Dear Lord,

Please do not let the sun set on another month without my son's homecoming being set.

Please deliver his passport and let it be correct. Move his documents through USCIS 

and allow his visa to be approved without difficulty or delay. Please protect our son's heart and let him know Your love and peace during this wait. Please use our adoption and our family to spread Your Word.