Wait Longer?!

We met with a lovely woman this weekend who has a precious Asian daughter and understands the intricacies and costs of international adoption. She is a fundraising professional and has her own unique organization designed to assist families meet their adoption budget goals.

www.GotchaGiftRegistry.com

We talked about our plans for taking time off work when the boys come into our family . . .

Now, I've always had a dominate practical side, the voice that questions "is this the best idea?" or considers the most uses for an object prior to its purchase, but I wasn't ready for what was suggested to me. Considering my role as primary breadwinner in our household, perhaps I (the mommy) should consider letting Eric take more leave time to be with the boys since I will be off without pay and his income accounts for less of our bring-home margin. In my head, my exact response went a bit like this: SAY WHAT?! You're kidding, right? But I am the MOMMY! I need to be with the boys and love them into full attachment. I need to nurture them and help them adapt and give them everything they've never known they don't have. 

I was also bombarded with husband mutiny (although he has no idea I felt this way). Not only would it be most practical for him to take leave or longer leave than me, but it would be best timed, financially speaking that is, if we waited to bring the boys home until the spring so his leave would lead into summer vacation when he will be home with the children anyway. (Imagine spouse nodding in agreement with woman who I felt camaraderie-ness with, until my initial time as nurturing mommy began to whittle away). Now little alarms and bells and whistles began sounding in my head. Is that a migraine? Perhaps a seizure coming on? Are you nuts????

I began thinking of all the things the children were doing while we were there that completely freaked me out . . . running unchaperoned on a steep, rocky hillside alone . . . the deep drainage ditches being dug near the orphanage . . . kids on motorcycles without helmets on crazy, curvy, steep roads . . .

I keep being asked when we think we might be able to bring the boys home and my answer has become Christmas. What a blessing would that be? What kind of miracle would join these boys with us, their forever family, before another anniversary of the earthquake? You think we should wait?! But that could mean how many more hospitalizations in Port-au-Prince for my Alby?

I'm sad, but also appreciative for the voice of reason in her guidance. Ultimately, I have faith that God's will will bring us together when His timing is right, not our own. Until then, I will continue to meet my Lord in prayer, asking for His guidance and His will be done.

Have I mentioned that being patient is not one of my stronger abilities?

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!
What a blessing to be born into a loving family, embraced by a mother's arms, held, comforted, LOVED.  (We are even more blessed to have 3 Grandmas for our children!)

It is beyond my ability to imagine life in an orphanage, relying on other children and the few Sisters who provide care to give me hugs, reassurance, build my self-confidence and esteem. Even the ducks in my neighborhood waddle in groups . . . a sense of community, belonging, purpose, and family.  How fortunate am I to have all the comforts and support I could ever imagine!

In our house, Eric has declared a "no fighting" rule today - yeah, we'll see how many minutes that lasts. We're heading to church and then planning to grill some meaty yumminess for lunch before enjoying this sunny day (& hopefully a nap).

What are my boys doing today? Having a bread and possibly banana breakfast? Watching the older children do laundry in large bowls and lay the articles of clothing on plants, rocks and the ground to dry in the sun? Perhaps they will run and play, hopefully have full tummies of rice and beans at bedtime, and awake ready to walk that very long path to school tomorrow. If they are fortunate, it may not be raining, making that path even harder in the mud. I pray that next year on this little holiday, they will be settled into our family and my blessings as a mother will be even greater.

"Although you may not have grown inside my belly, you have filled my heart."

Adoption Time Line

Our Adoption Timeline

(January 27, 2011: Morton Court listed with real estate agent)
February 2010: Dena's 1st trip to Haiti, post-earthquake
November 6, 2010: Met Sister Marie Carmelle at Sisters of Charity in Leavenworth
February 2011: Eric's 1st trip to Haiti; visited the Sisters and orphans in Fondwa
February 19, 2011: Given verbal permission to adopt Jimmy
March 9, 2011: Met with Adoptions & Beyond to begin home study process
March 17, 2011: Given verbal permission to adopt Alby
April 27, 2011: Mailed I-600A
April 30, 2011: International Adoption Workshop at Adoptions & Beyond
May 6, 2011: Eric fingerprinted for state & local requirements
May 9, 2011: text message received from USCIS - I-600A received for processing
May 10, 2011: Dena fingerprinted for state & local requirements
May 12, 2011: Received I-797C, Notice of Action from USCIS
(June 25, 2011: Morton Court price reduced)
July 21, 2011: Psychological evaluaton for international dossier
July 22, 2011: Home study turned in
August 4, 2011: Social work assessment complete
August 19, 2011: Home study draft received and returned with alterations
August 23, 2011: Home study finalized and complete
September 1, 2011: Secretary of State's office for authentication (trip #1)
September 12, 2011: Secretary of State's office trip #2 and dossier sent for interpretation
October 3, 2011: Dossier sent to the Haitian Consulate in Chicago, IL for legalization
October 6, 2011: Eric & Dena fingerprinted with USCIS / Dept of Homeland Security; Dossier received back from Haitian Consulate (+ official contract received on house = big day!)
October 13, 2011: USCIS request for more information received
October 15, 2011: Dinner and silent auction fundraiser
October 21, 2011: Dossier arrived in Haiti
October 27, 2011: Addendum to home study delivered to USCIS
November 3, 2011: Approved I-600A from USCISNovember 22-25, 2011: Thanksgiving in Haiti with our boys
January 16, 2012: Birth certificates to attorney in Port-au-Prince

My first blog :)

Here I go, entering another domain of social media . . .
First, let's talk about the name of the blog, shall we? Cupcakes, Beans & Rice, huh? Yep!
I recently celebrated another birthday and am excited to embark on the adventure this year is sure to be. We are armpit deep in home study paperwork, getting fingerprinted, scheduling psychological evaluations, writing checks until my hand cramps . . .
The sweet and savory mix of life as I currently know it involves anxiety, a lot of faith, stress, inquiry,  frustration, pure joy, sadness, anticipation, trepidation, hope, and much love. My babies are growing up so quickly right before my eyes, and as the months seem to pass too quickly watching them sprout, time seems to crawl as the stack of "suggested" reading for our adoption process mounts.  Grant and Addie are my cupcakes,

adding sweetness, and sometimes a little mess, to my days. They make me laugh. They melt my heart with kisses and hugs. They remind me how extraordinarily blessed I am when other parts of the world seem hard.  Jimmy and Alby are my beans and rice.

I hope beyond hope that we will soon be a family under the same roof, but until then, they are already "our boys" in my heart. I will continue to pray for patience, guidance along this path, good health and safety for J and A, and abundant blessings upon the Sisters and orphans in Fondwa. There is so much to be thankful for and so much work yet to be done!