but it's soooooo good.
It's not often that I read something that truly describes what I've been experiencing, but this nails it on the head.
The pervasive emptiness,
sadness,
lack of
It's the most wonderful time of the year
but I'm missing a part of my heart.
I love the lights and the music and the general feel of things,
but I also break down crying every time someone mentions "hungry children" in prayer
or a tender carol reminds me of my son that I so desperately want to share this with.
I have not lost my faith.
Far from it.
It is a little harder to pray sometimes though.
There is a pit in my stomach . . .
I need this to be the last Christmas without my child in my home and in my arms.
I need this to be the final birthday he has without a family to celebrate him.
I asked my God to break my heart with what breaks His
and He has.
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