So much different than the holiday Eric and I spent last year.
November 2011 was the last time we saw Sister Carmelle before she became very ill. It was the last time we saw our Alby and were privileged to spend quality time with him. Over Thanksgiving was when Dimitry and Eric really bonded. Crazy how much can happen in one fast-flying year.
Last year, a large tom turkey taunted us in Fondwa, strutting around and vocally reminding us that he would not be on anyone's platter that year.
How fortunate we were to be surrounded by the Sisters and friends of Fondwa, Haiti.
I started out cheerful, thankful and ready to spend the day with my family this Thanksgiving. But as we neared my sister's house, we discussed where we were one year ago, and my heart began to ache.
All this excess.
Do our boys even have dinner today?
Someone said to me recently "It's so great what you are doing."
I am not a noble person, or even an unselfish one.
I am torn between shopping for my children at home, who have more stuff than they can keep track of, and wanting to leave it all and go rebuild a chapel for my friends in Haiti.
I'm not sure if Dimmy had more than bread for dinner, but my table has more dessert choices than he can imagine.
I am fattened with Halloween candy and Girl Scout Cookies, and now pumpkin pie and a second helping of stuffing . . .
I do not think that God means for us to feel guilty for the blessings in our lives, but it is so difficult not to be aware of the excesses and the waste when one's heart is with those who need.
How overwhelming will this all be when Dimitry comes home?
Tonight we put up our Christmas tree and decorated the house.
It brought tears to my eyes when I pulled out the stockings and the ornaments I bought for Dimitry and Alby last year, in hopes they would be part of this year's Thanksgiving.
What will he think when he sees this? The lights, the food, the music, the presents.
So much.
Too much.
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