April 30, 2012 News . . . At last

Happy Birthday to me

As we age, I believe it is important to continually learn new information, tasks and lessons.

Today's lesson: do not email your attorney, even if you haven't heard from him in months, the night before your birthday unless you are prepared to have your heart broken the next day.

Near the end of my third tonsillectomy this morning, I received an email from my adoption attorney in Haiti. Due to the existence of a living parent at the time of physical relinquishment to the orphanage, but lack of knowledge regarding their whereabouts or paperwork to prove relinquishment, it is with "certain impossibility that the adoptions can be completed."

If you have read previous entries in this blog, you know that my greatest fear in losing Sister Carmelle is that we would lose the possibility of making the connection to D & A's living parent and obtain official (hard copy) relinquishment.

Now, it seems reasonable that a child left at an orphanage five years ago, with no further contact with a living relative since then, might be declared officially abandoned and / or orphaned, particularly considering the massive natural disaster that occurred in the country in 2010. One might also assume that in a country of starvation and immense poverty, a system might be in place to match orphaned children (whether situational or actual) with families able and willing to care for and love them. But that's logic for you . . . not politics.

I was amazed that birth certificates existed. I'm not sure how death certificates are handled, considering the general lack of access to health care. Perhaps, in orphanages where agencies handle adoptions and paperwork shuffling, relinquishment paperwork exists. Not so much in Fondwa.

I sobbed at work . . . a couple of times. My friends brought me chocolate birthday cake :) Man, I know good people.

For 15 months, Dimitry and Alby have been in our hearts as our children. In November, the boys called us Mama and Papa and were happy to have family. What now?

I decided to message the attorney again. I asked if there is a way to advertise for the parents to contact him, and without contact, is it possible to declare the boys officially abandoned? This is where I ask "will more money help?"

Alby is loved and very well cared for. Despite his sickle cell disease, or perhaps because of it, he is well fed, lives with electricity and medication and 7-UP. He is loved and doted upon.

Dimitry is in an orphanage, where nothing is his own. He eats when there is food. I cannot stomach the thought of him growing up like that.

There are an estimated 139 - 147 million orphans in this world. Yes. That is right - that many. Could we still provide a home to a child who needs love and nourishment of his / her body and soul? Yes. But how can I leave my son without a mama and a papa? I can't won't take that away from him. Not without a major fight and being sure that I've done absolutely everything that I can do and can think to have done.

We are supposed to travel again in less than 30 days. My brain is foggy with what to do. I am overwhelmed with emotion. Why would God bring us this far for it to end like this? I don't accept that. There have been too many "God moments" for any of our journey to be coincidental. It's already been a walk of faith and a journey that has included great loss. I have to believe that this story - Dimitry and Alby's stories - have a happy ending.

Please pray for my boys. Pray that they get a forever family . . . even if it doesn't include me.