Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Coming Clean

Alright, I have some confessions to make. 
  • I do not weigh what my driver's license says I do.
  • I prefer yoga pants to jeans . . . except my ripped up pair with the big pockets (even if I look HUGE to you, they make me feel a bit thinner).
  • I drink coffee at bedtime. (It's all warm and yummy.)
  • I really enjoyed myself last weekend when my husband and I went out of town with another couple. I did not even call the kids once. (I missed them, but I didn't call them and let them know that I was doing anything but spending time with their daddy.)
  • I avoid inviting people to my house because I'm insecure about my housekeeping. I prefer to say that I intentionally have dust in my house to help build my children's immunity.
  • I still have my girlfriend's birthday (November) and Christmas gifts on my office desk! I don't know why!! Am I so lazy that I can't throw some wrapping paper on them and drive to the UPS Store?! It's like when you screw up, it gets more difficult to apologize the further from the time you should've said you were sorry in the first place. I suck. Badly :(
  • I secretly wish I had my high school summer tan (and body) back. Ah, the days of lifeguarding: bleach blonde hair, baby oil with a touch of iodine . . . to be the size I was when I thought I was fat!
  • I am LAZY about working out. Getting started is my real problem this time. (Perhaps a shock collar would help?)
  • I'm not 100% sure what my natural hair color is anymore.
  • I knew much more of the Scriptures at age 10 than I do now. (sad)
  • I secretly wish I could afford to work part-time so I could spend more time cooking, organizing, and participating in my children's school functions ("No, mommy's working so I'm sorry I can't come to your party / PTA program at 3:30pm / field trip." LOSER)
  • I think I may be trying to do too much of this adoption stuff on my own. Sometimes I forget to include God in the paperwork, politics and payment of it all. I always ask Him to bless the nuns and the orphans and my boys, but frequently I fret over the details and forget that He has control over all things.
  • I love reading blogs and seeing photos of forever families . . . but I'm really scared my boys won't come home this year.

I'm searching my soul to be more faithful.
I've purchased Adopted for Life by Russell D. Moore and Praying Through Your Adoption by Michele Cervone Scott. I'm currently reading Mary Beth Chapman's Choosing to See.
I'm reminding myself that it is He that led me here; now I need to trust Him to guide us through the process to bring these children home.

"A person who lives in faith must proceed on incomplete evidence, trusting in advance wht will only make sense in reverse." - Philip Yancey

"Somewhere there's a child that I have plans for to know my love and grace and take his or her place . . . Will you trust me with the details that you've been worried about and walk in faith where I'm leading you and your family?" - Choosing to See

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