Merry Christmas and Politics

What a blessed time of year.
So much to do, so many people to visit and see . . .
What an opportunity to acknowledge the gifts and grace in our lives.

I've been pouting lately,
yes, I'll admit it.
It's difficult to purchase gifts and wrap with joy,
attend holiday gatherings where so much excess and bounty exists,
and still remember that one you love is so far removed from this splendor and doing without.

Does Dimitry get dinner on Christmas Day? Is there enough?
Does he know that there is a family pining for his company, 
wishing more than anything for him to be present at their table?

We've been buying toys
(little brown baby dolls and Barbie dolls, Matchbox cars, Tonka toys)
with hopes of delivering them to the children in Fondwa's orphanage this season,
but it isn't going to be.

Do they know they are loved?
Do they know they matter?
Do they feel wanted and important and special?

Now, politics will keep more children who are institutionalized from knowing the love of a forever family.
Russian children in orphanages,
some 740,000 per UNICEF's estimation,
will remain where they are.
Once again, our world's children become the victims.
Sickening.
At least 52 children, headed for homes in the US, now will remain where they are.
Waiting for political asylum,
not because of natural disaster, illness or transportation concerns,
but because some men in suits think the least of these make for good pawns in their game of Stratego.

What are we doing??

Some times I wonder if God has a hard time keeping His promise not to just wipe us out.
He has got to be frustrated and heart broken and sad.

There is so much good that could be done.
There are so many resources that can help and improve and enhance the quality of lives.
There are so many people who need to be loved and assisted and taught . . .

Why can't we do more to improve, rather than harm?

Alright,
I'll step down off my soap box now.
Sorry.

On a happier note,
I have decided that 2013 is the year we will bring Dimitry home.
YEA
No, I don't know anything, but I have decided.
(You didn't know I had so much control, did you?)
Lol

Merry Christmas, y'all.
Blessings to you and yours
and especially, to those without.

A borrowed "Christmas Tradition"

Once again, here I go posting someone else's stuff,
but it's soooooo good.

It's not often that I read something that truly describes what I've been experiencing, but this nails it on the head.

http://theramblingjunkie.com/2012/12/10/an-unfortunate-christmas-tradition/

The pervasive emptiness,
sadness,
lack of something someone from my daily life.

It's the most wonderful time of the year
but I'm missing a part of my heart.

I love the lights and the music and the general feel of things,
but I also break down crying every time someone mentions "hungry children" in prayer
or a tender carol reminds me of my son that I so desperately want to share this with.

I have not lost my faith.
Far from it.
It is a little harder to pray sometimes though.

There is a pit in my stomach . . .

I need this to be the last Christmas without my child in my home and in my arms.
I need this to be the final birthday he has without a family to celebrate him.

I asked my God to break my heart with what breaks His
and He has.

Wanna Shop Like You Mean It?

 Black Friday

 

 

I do not do black Friday shopping but, I will endorse a few sites that I think you should consider for your holiday shopping.

 

Wanna make a difference?

You are going to spend the money anyway :)

 

Check out some merchants that change lives:

 

HaitianCreations.com

 

The Adopt Shoppe on Etsy.com

 

The Haiti Orphan Project has Singing Rooster Coffee in their online store

 

 

 

Outreach-international.org

 

ApParentProject.org

 

 

Come on, get your gift on!

 



Thanksgiving Again

Thanksgiving 2012 . . .

So much different than the holiday Eric and I spent last year.



November 2011 was the last time we saw Sister Carmelle before she became very ill. It was the last time we saw our Alby and were privileged to spend quality time with him. Over Thanksgiving was when Dimitry and Eric really bonded.

Crazy how much can happen in one fast-flying year.

Last year, a large tom turkey taunted us in Fondwa, strutting around and vocally reminding us that he would not be on anyone's platter that year.

How fortunate we were to be surrounded by the Sisters and friends of Fondwa, Haiti.

I started out cheerful, thankful and ready to spend the day with my family this Thanksgiving. But as we neared my sister's house, we discussed where we were one year ago, and my heart began to ache.

All this excess.

Do our boys even have dinner today?

Someone said to me recently "It's so great what you are doing."

I am not a noble person, or even an unselfish one.

I am torn between shopping for my children at home, who have more stuff than they can keep track of, and wanting to leave it all and go rebuild a chapel for my friends in Haiti.
I'm not sure if Dimmy had more than bread for dinner, but my table has more dessert choices than he can imagine.
I am fattened with Halloween candy and Girl Scout Cookies, and now pumpkin pie and a second helping of stuffing . . .
I do not think that God means for us to feel guilty for the blessings in our lives, but it is so difficult not to be aware of the excesses and the waste when one's heart is with those who need.

How overwhelming will this all be when Dimitry comes home?

Tonight we put up our Christmas tree and decorated the house.
It brought tears to my eyes when I pulled out the stockings and the ornaments I bought for Dimitry and Alby last year, in hopes they would be part of this year's Thanksgiving.

What will he think when he sees this? The lights, the food, the music, the presents.

So much.
Too much.

Sunday ponderings

#1:  Only a child in a "first world" country would complain about a Thanksgiving themed church potluck. Seriously?? What's not to like about turkey cooked 3 different ways, 30 different salads and sides to choose from, and a dessert table covered with deliciousness?

Craziness

 

#2:  Taking your daughter for a pedicure, even when she is only 5 years old, is totally worth it. There is nothing like watching her little face as she relaxes into the nice lady's hands rubbing lotion on her hairy little legs and then being told "That was so much fun. I love girl time with you mama."

Oh, be still my heart.

 

 

#3:  Reading that another family had their I-600 denied for 3 children in Haiti after receiving the adoption decree and just wanting to bring the babies home is nothing short of pure heartbreak. I can't even type it without tearing up. What a journey . . . an absolutely unbelievable journey.

In the spirit of holiday shopping

 

Outreach International

 

 

Ever bought a goat as a Christmas present?
 

Ever gone in with friends and family to fund a fresh water source?
 

Every considered buying strangers shoes or school supplies or a pig for the holidays?

Why Not?

Genetics

Isn't genetics fascinating?

What do we pass on to our children? And what is passed on to us in our genes?

Blond hair: yes.
Blue eyes: sure.
Propensity for heart disease or breast cancer or diabetes? Undoubtedly.

What about our character traits?
There is a definite pattern of Asperger syndrome behavior in the males of one family I know and love. While only one individual has been given the definitive diagnosis, at least two generations of males display the behaviors and definitely exhibit the character traits of Aspergers.

My oldest child, I'm afraid, has inherited more than I intended him to from me.

I am a child of a Type A parent.
No, really.
He's not just "kind of" type A . . . he's the real deal.
And me? Yeah, I've got some of that too.
I have a teensy, eensy touch of perfectionistic behavior
(is that my mother's laughter that I hear?)
and I tend to be strung a bit tighter than some individuals.
Anxiety? yep
Depression? yep (there is a family history of that too)

In fact, I suffered from post-partum depression with my oldest,
and while I was determined to breastfeed him throughout his first year
(putting off antidepressant therapy),
I wonder if that contributed to his personality now.
Is it possible to pass on stress hormones caused by anxiety through human milk?

My son is a huge worrier.
He can be intense and is sensitive compared to his younger sibling.
I have a photo of him at age two where he had organized a tub of crayons into color . . .
into one very long, very straight line on the floor.
Yes, we raised our eyebrows and asked if a 2 year old could be OCD.
He is a firm believer that there is usually only one correct way to do things
(which I constantly refute);
He gets very frustrated by his own mistakes and shortcomings;
He is definitely his own worst critic.
And it breaks this mama's heart.

Did I do this to him?
Is it in our genetic code?
Is it just a coincidence? (yeah, right)

How do I teach my child to be young, imaginative, creative and free?
How do I convince him that pretend play is normal and healthy?
(He thinks his sister's ability to play school and have tea parties with her dolls is weird)
He had a toy kitchen and a Cabbage Patch Doll when he was younger.
(okay, he still has the doll)
Finger paint? No way
Pizza with hands rather than a fork? Working on it
Messy cookies or snacks or projects? Very stressful for him
Do not expect my child to eat Doritos unless you plan on him doing it with some sort of utensil.

He clings, yet also struggles with independence as he nears 8 years old.
He is so sensitive and unselfish, in a way that is far beyond his age.
He is intuitive,
so much so that it surprises me sometimes.
Nothing gets past this kid!
I question if he could be considered gifted . . .
like his grandfather.

I pray for him.
I cannot wait to take him to meet his brother far from here because I know he will get it.
I just hope that it is not too much for him, at the same time.

Thank you God for the gift of this child who obviously needs us as much as we love and want him.
Please bless his little heart, and use his sensitive nature to serve you without overwhelming himself.