Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Hump Day

I'm feeling uncertain. I'm feeling scared.

I read message boards where people are discussing the timeline for Haitian adoption and seeing that some are told 20-24 months for paperwork completion AFTER the dossier arrives in country.
Along those lines, conversation persists regarding President Martelly's statement that independent adoptions will cease, involving agencies only in the future. However, his government / cabinet is not fully formed and to make laws, one needs people to do the work. Soooo . . . .

how much time do we have?

what should we anticipate?

how many trips do we take?

how long before our boys are truly ours?

will our paperwork expire requiring us to start over or pay all over again?

will we get so far and be denied?

I am digging deep
                      but running low.

If we are forced to go with an agency, I will lose my boys because they are in the mountains of Fondwa, with a small group of Sisters to care for them, far away from the city and what politics exist in Haiti.

Today, I am fatigued.
I am emotionally drained from dealing with mortgages, real estate, critically ill children, bills, and  "what ifs."

I'm searching for faith. I'm trying to trust. I'm praying for stamina.
I thank my God for friends like Aimee and Heather and for my mom, who continually lifts me up.

My heart aches for these children. I want to hold them and love on them. I miss them every single day.
Their little faces give me hope. They make me smile.
I miss this place.



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