Not all rainbows and sunshine

Yesterday we tried to explain to our children that after Dimitry comes home, it won't be easy on him.
It will be overwhelming, scary, unfamiliar and yes, a bit sad.
Grant had a difficult time grasping that.

But won't he be happy to be with us / me?

Sure, but imagine leaving the only home and the only friends (who are his family ) you've ever known.

We tried to explain that he may cry and get frustrated and be confused about whether or not he will go back to Haiti to live. 

Will he have his very own room, for the first time in his life?

Yep. 

Overwhelming.

He can get a snack or a drink whenever he wants and always have enough to eat . . . 

Strange. 

Permanent? 

Overwhelming.

Toys, TV, a full closet of clothes and his own bathroom: Really?

Overwhelming. 

Guilt producing??

We also talked about how he must feel when we visit then leave.

Eric told them about June 2012 when we were with him, had to travel to Jacmel for 2 days for surgery and then returned . . .

He wouldn't talk to us. 

He was hurt and angry, and obviously told his friends, who threw rocks at us.

Eventually, they began playing with Eric and then Dimitry came out.

When Michele sat on my lap, Dimitry wanted me too.

He was broken and didn't want to be left, for any reason.

Still brings tears to my eyes.

In less than two weeks, I will travel again, and see him for a very short day and 1/2 for visa interviews.

How confusing is this for him?

Hello Son. I love you. I want you so much. Goodbye.

I pray that, somehow, his heart will be protected through all this.

Someday, I hope he can understand how long we worked to give him a mommy and a daddy and siblings.

We never want to leave him.

Grant thinks they will never argue or disagree or not want to play with each other --

he doesn't believe us that it won't be a honeymoon.

I suppose all we can do is talk to them about it and love them all through it.

Dear God,

Please protect these little hearts that yearn for love and acceptance, but struggle to understand the wait and the permanence. Bring our child home to us soon. Let us hold him and kiss him and give him a forever family, finally.

Easter 2013

Having a happy Easter morning with our church family,

we sincerely hope and pray that next year's Easter photo will have a little more color in it ;)

With faith and trust in our Lord, we look towards the biological birth parent interview by USCIS in Port-au-Prince in two weeks. I will admit that the things I've read about intimidation tactics employed during these interviews concerns me, although I understand the need to validate the permanence of adoption and the lack of child trafficking in each situation. I pray for my son's heart as I sweep into the picture for only one full day and then leave him once again. Hopefully, we will soon have a court date and his adoption decree will be written, allowing our file to move on to MOI (the final and potentially longest stage of the Haitian process) and he will be with us forever, starting this year.

We miss you and love you so much Dimitry Gilles Edmunds.

Our sons: 13 months apart

Connecting

I've been crushing on Facebook a bit this week,
and yes, I realize I am a bit late to feel that excitement.

Social media has connected me with adoptive parents of my son's friends in Fondwa,
allowing me to not only discuss things with them,
but share photos of their beloved babies from our trips!

It's so fun :)

It really is amazing how this application (and others like it) work to shrink this world down some.

How cool is it that an orphanage located remotely in the mountains above Leogane, Haiti,
where no agency has affiliation or license,
has three adoptions in process
and all three families are now connected?

Missouri + Indiana + North Carolina 

= a lot of love for Fondwa, Haiti

Dispensation!!

Today we saw the blessed version of Le Moniteur that we have been waiting for:
the one bearing the name of

Dimitry Gilles

Woo hoo!!!

Finally, we have received presidential dispensation for having biological children,

allowing our adoption dossier to move on to the next step of political processing.

Praise the Lord

The day of printing was March 12, 2013.

The day we arrived in Haiti and just before we filed our I-600.

Had we known, we would've purchased every copy we could get our hands on.

Hallelujah

I truly believe that my son will be home this year.

Saturday, March 16th

The time has come . . .

After breakfast and a little machine time,
Daddy "painted" brown faces with chalk and final packing was done.

We asked my dear friend Sister Claudette to talk with Dimitry with us.

Grant cried.
Claudette cried.
I was choked up, holding Dimmy and talking.

I told him he is part of our family, and we love him very much.
We pray for him every night.
He can't come home with us yet, but we hope soon.
It isn't our choice to leave him, or the sisters' choice.
We will miss him so much, but keep him in our hearts.
Soon, he will come home with us on an airplane.
He is our son.

Grant sobbed as we left Fondwa, and many times along the way to Port-au-Prince.

Friday, March 15th

Nights of not sleeping well are taking their toll.
It's impossible for me to sleep long anyway with a torn labrum in my hip,
but the springs sticking directly into my body are not making it easier.

Eric and I both are a bit tense and overstimulated today.

When the boys aren't in school, they are ALL at our cottage,
and as you might imagine,
they are not used to a lot of discipline while away from the nuns.

Samuel (quiet, cuddly and another child with Sr. Simone) likes to try and be the boss.
Along with Michel, Jed (wow, the lungs on that boy!) and Dimitry,
they make a lot of noise.

The camera only catches the calmer moments!

Grant is looking a bit rough with circles under his eyes, but Mr. Do Not Get My Hands Dirty is playing with the dirt with everyone else and having a ball.

He's even picking up a bit of Creole :)


Eric is craving ice cream, and Grant has mentioned McDonald's more than once today,but mama is only missing one thing:

We are all organized and packed to leave tomorrow,
which means we are going to have to talk with Dimitry soon.

Eric thinks it is best to say our goodbyes here as the separation at the airport was difficult last time.

We had a bit of a break from each other today.

Dimitry may be tired of hearing "no,"
primarily about the Nintendo DSi and Gameboy only being for him and Grant in the cottage,
not when other boys are around.

He headed to the orphanage for a while with Davidson and Jeb, and was a bit standoff-ish when he returned an hour or so later.
That is, until Samuel wanted to be loved on and came over to sit in my lap.

Dimitry wasn't territorial, but the second Sam got up to get a toy,
he took his place,
where we rocked and I loved on him,
and whispered in his ear how much we love him and wish we could bring him home.

I am not looking forward to tomorrow's goodbye.

I will miss seeing little brown faces, with a single peach one in the middle, at mealtimes.
I will miss his laughter and his sweetness.
I may even miss the hilarious way they all line up,
Grant included,
to pee off the sidewalk together.

Grant and Dimmy took their first shower together this evening.

What a riot!!

Combine two naked ham bones and some very cold water and the comedy comes naturally.

I tried to prep Grant that some of their parts won't look alike . . .

What a fool I am.

He said (afterwards), "Mom, he's just a different color than me."

Um, okay.

That other issue will wait for later then.

Thursday, March 14th

I told Eric that I could totally live here with our children for a couple of years.

I did preface it with "don't think I'm suggesting this, I'm just saying that my personality would lend to . . . "

His response?

Come visit us once in a while.

Nice.

The boys taught G to peel a mango with his teeth. Oh sweet treat!

Dark circles under his eyes; mango on his face.

The teacher (Eric) says we have cultural diffusion going on here: pit fart lessons.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Grant reduced Dimmy to a puddle of belly laughter teaching him to make fart noises with his hand and his armpit.
The mother in me had to roll my eyes, but the giggling was such beauty in my ears.

Oh, I forgot to tell you about Grant's roach experience yesterday.
Poor kid.
It was in the toilet house, of course, where some important business needed to take place.
His dad told him to do his thing or risk an accident, as he fiercely smashed 3 giant roaches.

No, that is not a typo -
they are giant.
Like something out of a horror movie.

The outcome was good, except for the bugs.
Good thing he didn't see the gray rat that ran into our room in PAP on Wednesday. EEK