Under a Big Grey Cloud

I have descended into a funk.

This has happened before . . .
and it sucks.

The days pass quickly on the calendar,
and page after page flips for each month that goes by . . .
all without my son.


It's infuriating to be held up by United States Citizenship and Immigration
with no explanation or communication as to what the process, delay or investigation involves.

My tolerance for political B.S. that keeps my son far away from us, while he ages and grows farther away from being able to adjust easily, has greatly diminished.

It's possible, too, that my faith has grown a bit thin.



I understand that God has a plan for our family,
but I also know that Satan has a way of placing road blocks along the way.

Enough already.

We began this journey in the fall of 2010,
although God planted this seed of adoption in my heart much earlier.

The length of this process and the delays we have encountered have taken their toll.

Now, I am allowing my misery to steal the joy from each passing day.

I know that this is not what God wants from me.
There is no doubt that I owe my family more of me.

I need to see the light at the end of the tunnel --
the end keeps getting farther and farther away, despite enticing teases of completion.

Another season passes;
Another holiday comes and goes -
All without my son, who gets older and older without a mama to love on him.

When will it be his turn?