While we wait . . .

I've had this bookshelf FULL of adoption books for almost three years . . .
some I've read,
some I've started and been so discouraged that I put them aside.

Attachment

Encouraging your adopted child

Enriching your family after adoption

Understanding your internationally adopted child

Nurturing your marriage and family after adoption

Called to adopt

Grace in adoption

Praying through adoption

Before . . . 

During . . . 

After . . .

The recommended reading lists for parents considering adoption are overwhelming.

All topics are covered: the good, the bad, the potentially ugly.

The waiting,
the separation,
the loss,
the challenges,
the healing,
the joy, 
the bonding . . . 

The timeline, alone, is ridiculously stressful.

Back in 2010 when we started this process, we were told the "average" Haitian adoption takes 12-18 months.

Bwahahahahahahahaha

What text did the officials read that in?
Any parent adopting from this country will tell you that timeline is not only overly optimistic, but considers only perfect situations, exact documentation, and perfect record keeping prior to the process being initiated and throughout the journey. Not to mention, probably only applies to a single woman petitioning on the behalf of a younger child with no living parents, residing in a well organized, established creche' where living conditions and paperwork are in exquisite order.

Did I mention we are talking about Haiti here??

Yeah,
anyway . . .

When I first fell in love with my sons, I wouldn't have predicted that this many birthdays might pass before our family became complete.

On most days,
and very much in my heart,
I am at peace with Alby being part of a family in Port-au-Prince,
where he is loved, well cared for, has access to amenities not afforded to the majority of Haitian orphans,
and did I mention, loved?

Once in a while, however,
I am struck by a yearning in my soul that mourns the loss of a son I was unable to call my own.
This is what gets me:

Alby, 2011

Wow.
That face.
That smile.

He was almost ours to call Son.

I am so fortunate to travel this journey of adoption with my best friend,
and be so well supported by family and friends who also long to have Dimitry home.

Soon, we will travel for court,
and finally we will change Dimitry's last name and be ever closer to his homecoming.

Dimitry 2010

I'm not sure anyone is truly prepared for the changes that occur on the first-time adoption journey.
The spiritual changes are immense.
The faith, patience, preparation . . .
it is incredibly difficult
but also a bit addictive.

Don't get me wrong -
it's not that anyone wants to go through the roller coaster of paying fees, filling out paperwork and meeting deadlines, updating the same paperwork over and over again to remain current, traveling to bond with children, only to face heartache at saying goodbye time and time again . . .
but what a blessing to meet other families along the road whose hearts have been changed by a child.

I wouldn't give up the experiences I've had for anything.

I never imagined my passport would have this many stamps in it before my child was home.
I didn't know that a Haitian nun would become one of my dearest friends,
or that I would play a role in helping the woman who first introduced me to my boys end her story on earth.

I wouldn't have guessed that Facebook would bond me to other families in so many states and countries with some of the same experiences as mine.

What an incredible blessing this process,
this transformation,
has been.

What an incredible story our boy will have.