An End in Sight

If adoption waits were timed like pregnancies, we'd be in our third trimester..

Next Wednesday we go to court to give our child our last name.
Our adoption will be official, and next week we will officially be a family of 5.

The other great thing that this does is allow our paperwork to move into the final phase of Haitian processing.
There is more paper shuffling that needs to occur,
but the last stage ends with our son receiving his country's passport with his new name.

***Hooray***

Current timelines for MOI range from 3 to 24 weeks, with each end being an extreme.

So, what is the bottom line?

We could have our son home before another school year starts,

as the school year starts, or

as I've been saying since Thanksgiving,

before Christmas 2013.

This is HUGE.

September will mark the third anniversary of starting this journey to bring our son into our family.

What a road . . . 

and what a blessing.

I find my thoughts going in a new direction this week:

towards my 5 year old daughter.

Addie is the only one of our four who hasn't met Dimitry,

and she is the baby of the family.

How do we keep Addie, 

who's excited about her brother finally coming home, 

but isn't attached like the rest of us,

from feeling territorial, left out, sad, etc., etc. once he's actually here?

The addition of a new sibling is a big deal,

especially when the new brother or sister isn't tiny and sweet smelling and doll-like.

Do we allow Addison to take on an older sibling role of being more helpful, guiding, and nurturing

since he is "new" and doesn't know the rules, routines, hierarchy?

Are they treated as equals right off the bat?

Do we allow him to take on the baby" role, as he's never had a family to love on him

and will be given room to regress, if needed?

Do we anticipate regression from her? (I think yes) 

Am I over-thinking this, as is typical for me? (probably)

Will each figure out his or her own place without interference from mama? (likely)

There are so many hearts to protect.

fineartamerica.com

Oh my goodness, I have to tell you a fabulous story.

I received the email asking if we could appear in court on Tuesday evening,

leaving us less than a week to book a flight, etc.

$$$ Cha-Ching $$$

By Wednesday, our employers were notified

(and supportive - we are soooo blessed),

family members were told,

childcare arrangements were made (human and furry),

the appointment was confirmed,

and airline tickets placed on hold needed to be paid for.

I called the airline and inquired about flexible fares for adoption cases

and briefly told the individual on the line that this is the

4th trip I've booked to PAP this year,

all on their airline,

and about the short notice we received to appear in court.

No matter.

The response was an enthusiastic Congratulations, 

but no fare exemptions apply.

Furthermore, 

the voucher I received for the last trip that didn't quite occur needed to be exchanged in person, at the airport, or reservations had to be made at least two weeks in advance.

Ha

I could, however, go to the airport and utilize the voucher immediately, in person.

Okay . . . that only left the remaining (intimidating) sum to come up with.

I scrutinized our credit card statements and our bank accounts.

I hadn't even paid off the previous two trips this year,

or the one that I received the voucher for, but still existed on my credit card.

So I sat in front of the computer,

three different web sites for airlines or cheap airfare open in front of me,

and I closed my eyes to pray:

Dear God,

I know this is what You want.

I can't figure out how to make it work.

I need You to make it work.

and, I kid you not, my cell phone rang right then.

I opened my eyes and saw the name of the caller: my dear friend G. 

I only get to see her once each year

(twice in 2012, when I was very, very lucky)

to do surgery in Haiti.

It was so nice to hear from my friend :)

I couldn't wait to update her on our adoption news.

The reason she called stopped me dead in my tracks --

she wanted my address to send us a check,

for almost exactly what the tickets cost.

I lost it.

You say you don't believe in Divine Intervention, huh?

Well, I don't believe in coincidence.

Some people question

if you can't afford adoption, then why do you do it?

To them I'd say REALLY?!?

Along this journey, life goes on outside of all things adoption related.

Other children grow and need new clothes, shoes, bicycles, swim lessons . . . 

Animals need to go the vet, 

Vehicles require maintenance and tires and ugh, replacing . . .

Mortgage escrows are readjusted and need to be paid . . .

do you know what it costs to remove a dead oak tree, looming over your house??

. . . and sometimes, that pretty little timeline quoted at the beginning of the process, 

doesn't quite work out.

Home studies and fingerprints have to be updated,

forms have to be filed and extensions requested . . . 

and in adoption, forms = payments.

When you expect "12-18 months," which turns into 2 years,

then almost 3,

and the paperwork, attorney fees, and orphanage costs can easily total $5,000-10,000 / year,

and you travel to bond with your child and let them know they haven't been forgotten or forsaken . . .

money gets tight.

This "paper pregnancy" is finally in its last trimester,

and I've officially been "pregnant" longer than an elephant.

The stories we'll be able to share with our son will be worth it -

and so many people love him and support him in our family already.

What a blessing this journey has been.