tick, tock, tick, tock . . .

I'm racking my brain for ways to expedite my children's adoption processing in Haiti.
I keep thinking that there has to be something I can do or pay for or someone to talk with to get our paperwork off a desk and into motion.
What contacts can I make? How can I help our attorney and the nuns caring for my boys?
I read blogs and scour websites for updates on other families' victories, no matter how small.
I check the State Department website and all other sources I know to see if President Martelly has issued any statements, if policy changes have been  posted, etc., etc.
I try to distract myself with home improvements and planning a summer vacation . . .
but isn't the money better spent on getting the boys here? And what if I plan a vacation and we need to travel to Haiti instead?
(heavy sigh)

I knew this would be a lesson in humility and patience.
I knew it would be a long process.
I knew it would be frustrating.
I didn't know that my brain would think things like . . .

Perhaps we could sell a bunch of our stuff, save up some money and spend the summer in Haiti. Eric has the summer off anyway . . . the kids would eventually get used to beans and rice. They wouldn't starve. It would be good for them. I could help Katrine with anesthesia in Jacmel. We could learn to make cuisine the boys are used to. We could drive the paperwork process and have face to face contact with our attorney. We could love on the boys every day and start solidifying our family.

But sadly, I'm a realist.
I know that I will continue to check websites and read blogs and hope beyond hope that something is being done in our family's favor between emails to / from the attorney and Sisters.
I might plan a vacation.
And I will continue to talk with someone about expediting our adoption -- the only One who has control. He knows the plan and the timeline. He knows my anxiety and longing. He knows when we'll bring these boys home.
And that is my only comfort.