We talked about our plans for taking time off work when the boys come into our family . . .
Now, I've always had a dominate practical side, the voice that questions "is this the best idea?" or considers the most uses for an object prior to its purchase, but I wasn't ready for what was suggested to me. Considering my role as primary breadwinner in our household, perhaps I (the mommy) should consider letting Eric take more leave time to be with the boys since I will be off without pay and his income accounts for less of our bring-home margin. In my head, my exact response went a bit like this: SAY WHAT?! You're kidding, right? But I am the MOMMY! I need to be with the boys and love them into full attachment. I need to nurture them and help them adapt and give them everything they've never known they don't have.
I was also bombarded with husband mutiny (although he has no idea I felt this way). Not only would it be most practical for him to take leave or longer leave than me, but it would be best timed, financially speaking that is, if we waited to bring the boys home until the spring so his leave would lead into summer vacation when he will be home with the children anyway. (Imagine spouse nodding in agreement with woman who I felt camaraderie-ness with, until my initial time as nurturing mommy began to whittle away). Now little alarms and bells and whistles began sounding in my head. Is that a migraine? Perhaps a seizure coming on? Are you nuts????
I began thinking of all the things the children were doing while we were there that completely freaked me out . . . running unchaperoned on a steep, rocky hillside alone . . . the deep drainage ditches being dug near the orphanage . . . kids on motorcycles without helmets on crazy, curvy, steep roads . . .
I keep being asked when we think we might be able to bring the boys home and my answer has become Christmas. What a blessing would that be? What kind of miracle would join these boys with us, their forever family, before another anniversary of the earthquake? You think we should wait?! But that could mean how many more hospitalizations in Port-au-Prince for my Alby?
I'm sad, but also appreciative for the voice of reason in her guidance. Ultimately, I have faith that God's will will bring us together when His timing is right, not our own. Until then, I will continue to meet my Lord in prayer, asking for His guidance and His will be done.
Have I mentioned that being patient is not one of my stronger abilities?
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