Thank you, Friends.

** Your generosity and support of our adoption

has made our Bonfirefunds tee shirt fundraiser

a success **

This road has been long and not without challenges,

but words cannot express our most sincere gratitude

for the people who have walked this road with us.

Our family feels loved!

An Opportunity to Share

This week, I had the opportunity to share some of our adoption story with Kelly Ellison, Adoption Coach Extraordinaire, and her listeners on Voice America Radio.

(I shudder to think what I will sound like.)

 

(yes, I swiped this off google.com)

Occasionally, I still get asked if my mother is home when I answer the phone, so who knows which Chipmunk I will sound like on the radio.

(Stop laughing)

We had the fortunate experience of meeting Kelly through Adoption & Beyond when we attended our international adoption conference. As an adoptive parent (of a gorgeous little girl named Mia), Kelly knows, first hand, the idiosyncrasies and red tape that make up the adoption process.

She has made it her purpose to assist and direct other adoptive families through the challenging and intimidating task of fundraising to bring a family together. With her help, we held a very successful dinner and silent auction early in our adoption journey.

(Funny now how long ago that was, and how naive we were then.)

 

She graciously led us through the logistics of planning and carrying out a fundraiser that would attract our supporters and get them involved in our family's adventure, that is adoption.

Kelly has continued to be a friend and a confidant throughout this long process.

 

It was a bit intimidating to think about my voice and my story being broadcast over the air waves . . . but the conversation went smoothly, and the time flew by.

 

If you are considering adoption, please hear this: 

surround yourself with people who support your cause.

 

I cannot imagine for one moment, having family and friends who do not accept our decision to adopt and look forward to seeing our family completed.

 

There may be siblings and parents and friends who think adoption is crazy and too expensive and too uncertain --

they are entitled to their opinions.

 

What is crucial in the adoption process, is being sure of the decision yourself.

 

Are there children in need of families?

 

Woah Baby, you betcha.

 

Are you meant to be one of those families?

Only you know that, for sure.

 

Do your homework.

Talk to other adoptive families.

Join social networking sites that discuss the issues and the process and the concerns you may face.

Find others like yourself.

Do the research.

Ask LOTS of questions.

Pray about it.

 

The road is long and can be hard -

for some, more than others,

but hear this:

It is worth it.

 

It is disheartening to think about the years my son has lost in an orphanage.

Does he know any better? No

But you and I both know that institutional living is not the nurturing environment of a family,

no matter how good the orphanage and staff are.

 

I pray that these years have still left his heart soft enough to absorb all the love and support we will give him.

I pray that the scars his soul will carry won't keep him from reaching his potential.

I pray that our family will fill his cup and allow him to be vulnerable for the first time in his young life.

 

Has it been expensive?

(Do you hear that laughing or is it just in my head??)

Oh yeah, it's expensive.

 

Has it really taken that long?

We met our son when he was 4 years old . . . he turns 8 in January.

That's too long.

 

Would I do it again?

You betcha, because I know the love I have for him and the blessings I have received in my life that can be shared.

 

Please listen in to Kelly's show if you are interested.

She has a lot of wisdom and a lot of great resources and contacts to share.

The podcast will air on Saturday, November 9th 12:00 pm PST / 2:00 pm CST / 3:00 pm EST

 

The link below will take you to the podcast.

Go there. See for yourself. 

 

 

http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2100/your-adoption-coach?utm_source=Your+Adoption+Coach+Radio+-Bringing+Dimtry+Home+-+Haitian+Adoption+Story&utm_campaign=Constant+Contact&utm_medium=email

 

 

 

 

 





I'm off work, recuperating from a torn acetabular labral repair,
hobbling around on crutches and going to physical therapy . . .
for FOUR WEEKS . . .
without my son home yet, and

I'm sulking.

I've never been good at sitting around.
Heck, I don't even watch movies at home without multi-tasking.

This is hard.

It's not the discomfort or the inconvenience of healing that's bothering me.
I can't stand spending time laying around when it's not time spent with my adopted son.

We are still awaiting his passport -
something that I do not understand, at all.

He's waiting for us to come for him.
He doesn't understand what's taking so long.


Then again, neither do we.

Families are waiting for I600 approval from the US Citizenship and Immigration Department . . .
we should be getting approval too,
but until there is a passport,
the application won't be considered complete to be processed.

I am a faithful person:
I believe that God wants His children to be loved.
I believe that God has a plan for Dimitry and for our family, but I'd be lying if I said I understand what His plan is.

I do not understand this wait.

To become more educated?
To let the yearning create a stronger bond for attachment?

What??

God, I know You love this child.
I believe that You brought us to him, and him to us.
I believe that each event up until this point has served a purpose,
but I plead with You to release this child's chains -
deliver his paperwork to those who are able to approve it quickly.
Bring this baby home to a mama and daddy and brother and sister who want him so much.
Answer his prayer for a forever home and let us love him all the rest of his days.

Please continue to guide us and move this adoption along.
Send us a buyer for our house Lord, 
and help us to meet these man-made deadlines that lead us forward.

Please protect Dimitry's heart.
Thank you for Sister Claudette and Sister Simone 
and all the ladies who care for these children,
waiting to be loved, 
longing to be wanted, 
yearning to feel more.
Bring us to him swiftly, Lord.

November

November . . .

I thought we'd be booking travel by now.
I thought we'd have a date on the calendar to bring our son home on his very first airplane trip.

The good news is this: I did receive an email this morning from our attorney in Haiti,
and he wants to know what paperwork can be delivered to the embassy on our behalf.

Are you kidding?

Take it all. Too much is better than not enough, right?

In reality, they only need originals of birth certificates, death certificates, relinquishment documentation, the adoption decree and supporting court paperwork. They've had copies for months, waiting for the originals, decree and passport to complete our file.

I still do not know what has delayed our passport so much (other than the lost passport photos).

It's been 9 weeks since submission, and other families report receiving theirs in 7-10 days,

but whatever the reason,

we wait.

I am so hopeful that the end is coming soon.

Our son deserves a family who loves him and wants him and has waited for him, 

almost as long as he has waited for us,

for the holidays.

Dear Lord,

Please do not let the sun set on another month without my son's homecoming being set.

Please deliver his passport and let it be correct. Move his documents through USCIS 

and allow his visa to be approved without difficulty or delay. Please protect our son's heart and let him know Your love and peace during this wait. Please use our adoption and our family to spread Your Word.

Progress and Ethics

Ethics is a serious topic in relation to adoption,
as well it should be.
Changing the structure of a family is not a small thing.
No matter what the cause, the addition or subtraction of any family member is a big deal.

Within the process of adoption,
ethical behavior is also a big deal.
Are fees being paid to "expedite" signatures or processing of paperwork?
Are documents being created to avoid difficult questions or circumstances?
Is information being left out of files to avoid the same?

Throughout our adoption process,
we have found ourselves in the situation where communication and cooperation from our legal team have not always been forthcoming.

Case in point:
Recently, while waiting for passport printing,
we were notified that our son's passport photos had been lost.
Okay. That's unfortunate, but fixable.
We contacted the nuns watching over our boy at the orphanage,
with faith that they would act and get more to our legal team . . . which they did.
Our attorney, after receiving the photos, apparently,
continued to act as though the nuns were holding up the delinquent process,
finally telling us that he received the replacement photos "yesterday,"
when, in fact, Sister had delivered them the week prior.

Where is his ethical behavior?
Blatantly lying, assuming that we did not have the accurate information to know better.
(And believe me when I tell you, that is the tip of the iceberg.)

Anyway . . .
All in all, we have been very blessed to deal with caregivers who have not exploited our son's adoption for their own gain or profit,
have not asked us for crazy "gifts" or monthly support payments,
and have been very generous with their welcoming us to their country and their home when we've traveled.
They have always accepted our gifts humbly and never acted as if they were even expected.

Yesterday, after months and months of asking,
our attorney finally sent us a scan of our adoption decree.
It was comforting to know this document exists, with all names and addresses correct,
and that it is the final "missing piece" of our file needed for visa application once his Haitian passport is complete.

A dear family also traveling this Haitian adoption journey,
received word that their I600 (immigration application) was approved yesterday and they were granted a visa interview for next week.

Hallelujah

Our day is coming, I just know it.

After three years, I know that Dimitry will be home with us soon,
and he will finally know that we really, really do want him and love him.

Someone posted on Facebook that it is cool that God knows the exact date our children will be placed with us . . .
wish He'd share it with me! :)

OMG

Six weeks we've been waiting for Dimmy's passport

6 Weeks

Friday, Mr. Attorney emailed "Urgent" stating the passport was ready to print, BUT
our son's passport photos were no where to be found.

Really??

Well, sure . . . 

Why streamline anything now? 

After this long, what's a few more weeks?

You're killing me, Smalls.

Layering on the Stress

Like many people, I seem to stack my stressors . . .

You know how they say that your should avoid too many major things at once?
(wedding, relocating, buying a home, starting a new job, etc.)
Well, I'm not a good listener, apparently.

While that little ticker up top says it's been 2 years, 7 months, blah, blah, blah
since our referral to adopt Dimitry,
(which is the date we were told "yes," specifically for Dimitry)
the 3rd anniversary of being called to adopt has now passed.

We continue to wait for word on his passport --
hearing other families report that they received their child's passport in the " 7-10 day period" quoted to them --
we just passed the 5 week waiting milestone.
We are so very close to being done with this red tape and actually having our son home,
but just haven't caught a break yet.

So, in the meantime . . .
we've decided to finish our basement (in record time), put our house on the market,
have surgery on my hip (making me non-weight bearing for 4 weeks, then months of PT),
accept a job in Colorado (that I start after the new year),
start shopping for homes online, while planning to relocate after the holidays,
where we will enroll our 3 children in a new school,
all while our puppy (10.5 years old) has recently become disabled,
which is absolutely breaking my heart.

Not a good time to try a new medication for hip pain,
which causes me to have weird dreams all night, that roll on like a movie,
leaving me tired in the morning . . .
and still hurting.
Not a good time for the pharmacy to run out of a regular medication,
leaving me without it for 3 days . . .

And, on top of all that, I'm having deja vu' . . .

Two months before I gave birth to my oldest child,
our first "child," George (a tabby cat),
became inexplicably and seriously ill.
Without any other signs of illness,
he began losing weight rapidly and went into multi-system organ failure.
One day, he seemed fine,
then two weeks later, he died.
The vet could not determine an exact cause of illness -
feline leukemia negative, potentially a form of acquired immunodeficiency?

Then Grant came along,

our sweet, sweet baby boy.

"This operating room is sooooo cold!!"

Before he was six months old,
we relocated,
I began a new job,
Eric transferred to a new school . . .

Yep.
Deja vu'

Harley,
Dimitry,
Pueblo.

bwahahahahahahaha