Tuesday, August 6, 2013

"Adopt Without Debt"

Wow,
Doesn't that title sound great?
Why wouldn't you adopt??
If there are so many thousands of children in this world without homes
and families to love on them
and feed them
and care for them,
and you could do it without mortgaging your home
or maxing out your credit,
why not?

Here's a little know factoid:

without agency representation,
(also known as independent adoption,)
it is not possible to apply for grants, adoption loans,
or receive charitable gifts from private organizations towards adoption fees.

In well developed countries,
to my knowledge,
adoptions are not done without agency representation.
I'm not aware of international independent adoptions in China or Korea or South America.

Unfortunately,
an awful lot of orphans live in under-developed areas,
where resources are poor.

It is discouraging and heartbreaking to love a child where agencies arms don't reach.

It is stressful and scary to pursue adoption,
and spend thousands of dollars year after year,
with no chance of grants or assistance to supplement personal funds.

While a child waits to come home,
life goes on.

Vehicles need replacing;
Sibling activities need paid for;
House repairs require attention;
Unforeseen circumstances arise.

Despite the best intentions,
credit card bills get larger and debt compounds.

Trips to visit the waiting child go on Visa,
then it's time for court, and another trip gets added on too.
Fingerprints need updating and home studies require annual renewal.
"Gifts" of support are paid to the orphanage director and
medical exams, transportation to and from the embassy,
and visa fees have to be paid.

Adopting without debt takes assistance.
Even adopting while incurring debt requires assistance sometimes.

Without the generous support of our family and friends,
I'm not sure where we would be now.

I never imagined a process advertised as taking 12-18 months
would stretch into three years.
I never imagined my sweet 4 year old Dimitry turning 5,
then 6,
then 7 without us.
I didn't plan to update our initial home study twice,
or pay to update fingerprints a 2nd and 3rd time.

Sometimes, I envy families with agency representation.
The assistance available to them,
the communication with a designated individual from their child's orphanage,
traveling the road with others from the same location.
Not that it's easy for them
HA
(as if any part of the adoption process is easy for anyone.)

I would go into debt again and again for my child,
but,
next time . . . ;)



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